25

I spent the first hour of my twenty-fifth birthday walking home alone after working in the office late into the evening.

As I walked, I thought about what I really want in life and what I am doing currently.

Is it me or am I getting the uncanny feeling that I'm taking a roundabout again?

After a long delay of a few days, I finally got on to the next orientation presentation by a vice-president of another team. She hones a background in investment, and was very clear about her subject matter. She made it simple for a layman without a background in economics like me and I was very impressed by the talk, which incidentally set my mind thinking about my current job and where that will eventually lead me to. While it offers a start into the field of marketing communications, I suddenly realise that communications in the sense of marketing and teaching stands for quite different things. Marketing seems to be more of a very persuasive end where the receiver can be the most unreceptive, but teaching has its hidden rewards when one converts the most obstinate one over. Marketing sees value in dollars and cents, but teaching sees value in the intangible.

At the moment where I am, I can see myself two years later as an experienced communications executive soaked in the art of copywriting, managing a publication design and printing process and purchasing corporate gifts. Not to mention perhaps experience in an evaluative process of identifying and scoping new web sites. Furthermore throw event management in.

I miss the intangible satisfaction of sharing and connecting at a deeper level, the immeasurable warmth in the heart when someone who is truly appreciative walks up to you and thanks you. You know the gratitude is pure and true, and you won't have second doubts about it because you know that you have done something deserving and an appreciation is in order.

Things can never be so simple in the private, corporate environment where the precarious climb (or fall) down the career ladder and the motivation of money keeps everyone on their toes.

Everyone has an agenda. Teaching has a different agenda from the corporate world.

I was originally planning to gain some experience for a couple of years, and depending on the remaining interest level, continue in the field or go (back) to teaching. Having rejected JET was a mistake. Will postponing teaching be a greater issue?